The Power of Positive Thoughts

I will stay healthy, during this pandemic of the Swine Flu, because I think positive thoughts.  Positive thoughts got me through a 1984 brain surgery (A.V. Malformation).  Positive thoughts got me through a 2003 car collision, in which I hit the back of a stopped minivan, while going 70 mph.  And they will get me through the Swine Flu outbreak.  Throughout my life, positive thoughts helped me get from one day to the next. 

Sometimes positive thoughts are like lifting mental weights, other times they are like a mental tug of war match.  When they are like lifting mental weights, the results depend on your thoughts.  Those are the times when you want mental spotters who believe in your goals, but achieving those goals depends on you.  When they are like tug of war, you can think positive thoughts all you want, but if your opponents (less than positive thinkers) outweigh your positive thoughts their less than positive thoughts will prevail.  Of course, in the mental tug of war example, you need other positive thinkers, but they take a more active role. 

I think forward.  I see myself in my mind’s eye signing books after my first novel’s published, celebrating a loved one’s birthday, running with my dog on the beach, and just enjoying life.  I learned the power of thought during my early childhood, when I noticed many of my thoughts came true.  When I thought positive thoughts, positive things happened; but when I thought not so positive thoughs, not so positive things happened.  Over time, I trained my mind to think positive thoughts by visualizing positive outcomes. 

Think positive thoughts.  They will get you through this economic crisis, they will get you through the Swine Flu pandemic.  So, what happens if you think positive thoughts and not so positive things happen?  Keep thinking positive thoughts.  

Here are some news sites that focus on positive thoughts.

Good News Network Happy News Good News Daily

 

Keep Connecting,

Erick

The Friendly and the Friendless

Last week, a couple of friends of mine from Boston came to my house for dinner. I reminisced with them about how I befriended their son a few years earlier.

When I moved to the Boston area, from San Diego, I started out in Salem. One night after work, in down town Boston, I walked to TD Bank Garden North, where the Celtics play and trains depart. On most nights, large metal partitions hide two escalators that lead from the train station to the Celtics’ stadium. On game nights, and a few other nights, people ride up and down those escalators. On that Friday night, after I arrived at the train station, crowds of people streamed up and down those escalators.

I looked at my watch, checked the train schedule, and decided I had time to venture to the top of the escalators. At the top, I stopped, turned, and asked the first person I saw about the cause of the mysterious crowd. Three years later, his parents sat on the other side of my dining room table. For two years, while I lived 3,000 mile from home, my friend and his family made me feel welcome in Boston.

That friendship started with one question that led to an answer that led to a conversation that led to the realization of mutual interests that led to exchanging phone numbers that led to many afternoons of coffee and evenings of meals. Do you understand how the chain works? If so, can you explain it to me. There is no scientific method, there is only trial and error; though, it only works if we’re willing to let go of our preconceived notions and befriend the friendly and the friendless.

People Connect is about connecting with people, in order to meet common life goals, not about shallow business relationships. Hey, if more business comes of it, great. If a greener world comes of it, even better. If a you receive a richer life, due to a great friendship, that’s awesome.

Perhaps you came to this blog via AgentsPayingForward or a set of keywords you typed into Google. Maybe you’re a friend of mine on Facebook or you follow me on Twitter. However you came to this blog, you most likely found it because you want to connect with people who want to connect with people and are striving toward goals beyond themselves. People Connect is about developing relationships, in order to meet goals.

When I moved to Boston, I shook the hand of every person willing to shake mine. When I moved back to San Diego, I did the same. Most of my friends from college had moved on, so I needed to make new friends. Less than a year later, I continue to shake hands with whomever I can, chat on line with new Facebook friends, try to remember to return notes via my Twitter followers, and know my efforts to connect with people will lead to a goal greater than me.

Ten years ago, someone asked me what I saw myself doing in 10 years. I answered, “I don’t know what I’ll be doing in 10 years, but I do know this—if it’s not bigger than me, we’ve got a problem.” Ten years after she gave me an awkward look, followed by silence, and a long, drawn out “Okay,” I am on the right track toward my goal.

Now the question is, are you? In the wave of technology that causes us to lose more and more of our humanity, relationships become more and more valuable. Whatever your goal, I encourage you to connect with people, not the potential for money or business leads or other. I urge you to connect with the friendly and the friendless without expectation.

If you connect with people like one wave connects with another, you will find your shore.



I would love to hear from any of my followers, or anyone else reading this blog, about your journeys, how those journeys are going, and the type of relationships your building.

Keep Connecting,



Erick

Sacrificing for Our Goals

Last week, I looked at five principles of connecting with people, in order to achieve your goals. This week I want to look at three things you may need to sacrifice, in order to achieve your goals.

The first thing you may need to sacrifice is your time. If you want to get your Bachelor’s or Master’s degree, start a business, or buy a house, it may mean studying or working on a Friday night. It may mean working overtime, so you can earn the extra money to start that business or buy that house. If you’re not ready to sacrifice your time, in order to achieve your goals, perhaps you should consider setting new goals.

You might need to sacrifice your money. In this economic climate, no one is safe and everyone is making sacrifices. Parents seem to sacrifice more, so their kids don’t need to. Never the less, whether you’re sacrificing so your kids won’t suffer, you can afford that new house, you can buy that new water heater, or you can put food on the table, you may need to make financial sacrifices.

There are many other things you may need to sacrifice in order to meet your goals, but the last one I am going to talk about is relationships. Yes, that’s right. Relationships. Now, please do not think I am promoting divorce. I am not. In fact, if you’re married, I believe you should work toward a better marriage.

Sometimes people come in to our lives who stand in the way of our goals. If it’s a roommate, consider moving out or asking them to move out. If it’s a boyfriend or girlfriend, consider breaking up with that person. If it’s a friend, consider either talking to them or letting the friendship fizzle. In my experience, true friendships may hit bumps in the road, but the common goal of a friendship will always allow you and your friend to come to terms. For those friendships, or any other relationship, where the goal is not mutual, that relationship is doomed for failure. We all need and want friends, but those friendships that require us to sacrifice our goals or ourselves, won’t last. It’s better to let go of those relationships before they take an emotional toll on you and cause you to lose sight of your goals.

I tend to live by quotes that sum up principles of my life. One of my favorite, which I cannot claim, but don’t remember who said is, “If I am no good to myself, I am no good to anyone else.” There is a good reason life guards are trained to put the person they are saving between them and objects they might collide with. There is a good reason flight attendants tell passengers to secure the oxygen mask over their mouths before a child’s. There is a good reason those military snipers took so long to ensure their absolute safety before taking aim at those pirates. If we want to achieve our goals, if we want to create a better life for those around us, if we want to connect with people, it requires sacrifice. Those sacrifices may hurt us and those around us; but if our goals are righteous, our sacrifices will be like that of the vinedresser who sacrifices a single vine for the benefit of the vineyard.

Until next week, keep connecting.



Erick

Five Principles of People Connect

Today, I want to talk about how you can begin to connect with like-minded people.  Though, before I get too far into that, I want to tell you about my recent work with non-profits. 

This last weekend, I went to a launch meeting for a new non-profit in San Diego, which will focus on connecting readers and writers.  It’s not a legal 501 C3 yet, but the executive committee is moving in that direction.  At the meeting, which brought in a group of about 25 people, the director (Karla Olson) talked about the vision.  After she talked, everyone broke off into one of the four preset committees.  Of course, I joined the web/marketing committee; and, of course, when the head of the committee asked my specialty, his ears perked at the sound of “SEO Content.”  Everyone with a web site needs SEO content.

Within the last four months, I’ve connected with people on the ground floor of two non-profits and one entrepreneurial venture.  I also connected with another literary non-profit, called DimeStories, which is in its early stages and growing.  That is what my vision is all about—people connecting with people.  So, for the rest of this blog, I want to lay out some steps I believe everyone can take to begin to connect with like minded people.

First, choose your goal.  Several years ago, just out high school, I decided to step out of my comfort zone.  Since my favorite sport to play was basketball, I found some basketball courts.  Though, rather than going to the basketball courts in the uppity neighborhoods, I went to the courts in the barrios.  San Diego has no true ghettos, just barrios—Hispanic versions of ghettos. 

Many times I was the only white guy, sometimes I was the only guy who couldn’t claim affiliation to a gang, sometimes other guys told me we had to leave because the park became gang territory at night, every time I knew  I had earned people’s respect for stepping out of my comfort zone.  Before Oprah calls me for an interview, I will set the record straight and say I never ran drugs or anything like that.  I don’t want to become known as the James Frey of bloggers.  I went to those parks with a goal—to begin to break down walls—to set a precedent.

Second, create an environment for yourself that allows you to nourish your goals.  That can happen in several ways.  For me, I believed in my goals so much that after 3 years of studying philosophy, I completely back tracked, lost way more than 50 credits, changed universities, and changed my major to literature.  Along the way, I developed relationships with people; though, I kept my goals in mind.  I learned that if I was going to accomplish my goal of graduating from college, I had to surround myself with people who encouraged me toward that goal.  Not all of my friends went to, or had any plans to ever go to, college; though, all of them respected that my studies came before going out on a Friday night. 

Third, speaking of studies coming before going out on Friday nights, be willing to sacrifice for your goals.  If your goal is to start and raise a family, it’s time to hang up your bachelor/bachelorette shoes.  If your goal is to make money, spend wisely.  And, along with creating an environment that allows you to nourish your goals by developing relationships with people who support your goals, be willing to let go of unhealthy relationships.  However you sacrifice, don’t plant daisies in a field of weeds. 

Fourth, and this is one I am passing onto you from former New York State and U.S. Poet Laureate Billy Collins, when I asked him about pursuing my literary goals, “Don’t expect it to happen over night . . . Let it move into the center of your life.”  My ultimate goal is to connect people to people; to break down social walls.  My writing is a means to that goal.  Give your goals time to flourish, just as a caterpillar’s goal of becoming a butterfly requires patience. 

Fifth, reflect your goal.  This goes along with the Law of Attraction.  If your goal is to start a business, and you’re just sitting at home and watching television and thinking of great business ideas, you will never meet other people who might like your idea.  The Law of Attraction works, because if you create an environment that allows you to nourish your goals, at some point others with similar goals and environments will see your environment and be attracted to your similar goals.  Of course, the fastest and best way to find like minded people is to join organizations, such as San Diego Writer’s Ink or GreenPeace.

Those principles are the ones that work best for me.  I welcome any questions or comments.  Also, I want to start connecting, so tell me about some of your goals.  I have begun to connect with people, because I’ve set principles into my life, and I follow those principles.  It’s come because I respect people and their ideas, and they respect me and mine.